Things Aren't Too Bad After All

I am sitting at my desk, watching the stock market go down and unemployment go up; foreclosures increasing and my 401K decreasing. But according to my Spam e-mail box, things really aren't that bad.
For instance, every day someone is offering me a new and better job. "I found you a job!" screams the heading on one, and "I found you a new job!" screams the very next one.
In fact, according to my spam folder, I want for nothing.
A new girlfriend, credit card, auto loan, mortgage -- they are practically throwing these things at me every day.
Not to mention the endless array of medications for everything from premature hair loss (not a problem for me) to something that will make me taller (not sure how that works--I didn't open it.)

No, despite the fact the world economy is in the tank and everything else is close behind, my spam folder has me covered.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to wire some money to Nigeria to claim my late uncle's African Lottery winnings...